He does listen and He does respond
Last Sunday our pastor brought up something that has stuck with me all week. He talked about living and being a person of purpose and how prayer reveals purpose. I agree with and believe that statement but I still find myself struggling to spend more time in prayer even in our desperate need for guidance these days. Our pastor also noted that time spent in prayer is never time wasted. I agree with that too and still, I struggle. I do pray. I do actively and purposely keep our Lord close in my thoughts and heart but am also very easily distracted by the many things competing for my attention such as kids, chores, and most distracting of all, my own thoughts.
I used to have a great habit of getting up and having my quiet time. I would fix my coffee, do my bible study, read scripture, and pray. Better than any breakfast out there. Then as usual life happened. I started once again slipping back into get up, change diapers, fix kids' chocolate milk, start laundry, grab a cup of coffee and try to catch up to my day which is already running behind.
Even with the slip in prayer, the Lord has remained faithful to our family giving us several unexpected and totally random blessings. Still I find myself deep in a "woe is me" mindset. This morning I consciously chose to leave my laptop alone and instead reach for my bible. That part of me that is filled with frustration and more why's than I have paper to write on or computer memory to write in was speaking louder than usual and I felt myself starting to feel angry and resentful. That part of me almost kept me from continuing my start of reading, especially when every time I sat down to read, to spend time alone with the Lord, everything around me went into uproar. The kids were anything but quiet and calm. The dog had to go out...my usual morning mayhem. I just kept thinking "You can part the sea but can't give me even 5 minutes of peace, I am trying to talk to you!"
Finally after countless attempts I did manage to sit down and just read. I have been told so many times that God's word is soulful nutrition. It is absolutely 100% required and there is no substitute or supplement for it. I have found that to be true but still have a hard time figuring out what to read, when. Today I read from Luke and stopped dead at a verse that made lots of questions come streaming from within. I just didn't know what to do with it. I've been trying to build a habit of journaling my thoughts and prayers but have not been very good at keeping up the habit. Today I grabbed it and poured my many thoughts out onto several pages of paper. I actually hate writing things down because my mind tends to go way faster than my hand can write. Today was no exception. Unfortunately I got angrier the more I wrote. My heart was screaming as dramatically as you can imagine, "Why?"
Then the music started. In my head clear as day I could hear the song "Praise You In this Storm". I started to feel a sense of peace and so stopped writing and turned back to the scriptures. The very next verse started to address my rantings and in a way gave the solution. It is not an answer that I wanted to hear specifically, but it was an answer.
Throughout the day He has continued to answer in ways He know are best for getting my attention. Today my reinforcement came from various blog posts from fellow sisters in Christ. I am so thankful for the many God loving women that write with unabashed bravery about their lives. Without even knowing, they bring so much comfort my life and I'm sure the lives of many.
These are quotes that were posted on the Living Proof blog today. If you've never ventured there, I highly recommend it! Every post is worth the read!
I used to have a great habit of getting up and having my quiet time. I would fix my coffee, do my bible study, read scripture, and pray. Better than any breakfast out there. Then as usual life happened. I started once again slipping back into get up, change diapers, fix kids' chocolate milk, start laundry, grab a cup of coffee and try to catch up to my day which is already running behind.
Even with the slip in prayer, the Lord has remained faithful to our family giving us several unexpected and totally random blessings. Still I find myself deep in a "woe is me" mindset. This morning I consciously chose to leave my laptop alone and instead reach for my bible. That part of me that is filled with frustration and more why's than I have paper to write on or computer memory to write in was speaking louder than usual and I felt myself starting to feel angry and resentful. That part of me almost kept me from continuing my start of reading, especially when every time I sat down to read, to spend time alone with the Lord, everything around me went into uproar. The kids were anything but quiet and calm. The dog had to go out...my usual morning mayhem. I just kept thinking "You can part the sea but can't give me even 5 minutes of peace, I am trying to talk to you!"
Finally after countless attempts I did manage to sit down and just read. I have been told so many times that God's word is soulful nutrition. It is absolutely 100% required and there is no substitute or supplement for it. I have found that to be true but still have a hard time figuring out what to read, when. Today I read from Luke and stopped dead at a verse that made lots of questions come streaming from within. I just didn't know what to do with it. I've been trying to build a habit of journaling my thoughts and prayers but have not been very good at keeping up the habit. Today I grabbed it and poured my many thoughts out onto several pages of paper. I actually hate writing things down because my mind tends to go way faster than my hand can write. Today was no exception. Unfortunately I got angrier the more I wrote. My heart was screaming as dramatically as you can imagine, "Why?"
Then the music started. In my head clear as day I could hear the song "Praise You In this Storm". I started to feel a sense of peace and so stopped writing and turned back to the scriptures. The very next verse started to address my rantings and in a way gave the solution. It is not an answer that I wanted to hear specifically, but it was an answer.
Throughout the day He has continued to answer in ways He know are best for getting my attention. Today my reinforcement came from various blog posts from fellow sisters in Christ. I am so thankful for the many God loving women that write with unabashed bravery about their lives. Without even knowing, they bring so much comfort my life and I'm sure the lives of many.
These are quotes that were posted on the Living Proof blog today. If you've never ventured there, I highly recommend it! Every post is worth the read!
"Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Grab life by the mane. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Expand your horizons. Accumulate experiences. Consider the lilies. Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can. Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don't let what's wrong with you keep you from worshipping what's right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze a new trail. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don't try to be who you're not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away. Chase the lion."
- Mark Batterson
"Faith is not clinging to a shrine, but an endless pilgrimage of the heart, audacious longing, burning songs, daring thoughts, an impulse overwhelming the heart, usurping the mind- these are all a drive toward serving Him who rings our hearts like a bell."
- Abraham Joshua Heschel
Truth be told, I needed to hear them both today!
The writer of another blog I follow had written a post and it seemed as if she had taken my many thoughts and posted them. She is a woman that has suffered a tragedy that for me is both heartbreaking and unimaginable and yet is still strong in faith. I have to think, if she can take it as she says "like a big girl" so can I.
I posted the quotes and links just in case you too needed them.
Truth be told, I needed to hear them both today!
The writer of another blog I follow had written a post and it seemed as if she had taken my many thoughts and posted them. She is a woman that has suffered a tragedy that for me is both heartbreaking and unimaginable and yet is still strong in faith. I have to think, if she can take it as she says "like a big girl" so can I.
I posted the quotes and links just in case you too needed them.
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